And they should make poison ivy go extinct.
My life is ironic.
Just throwing that out there. I wake up at 4:20 in the morning to my poison ivy. You have no idea how long I have waited to be able to sleep in, and it still hasn't happened. I am very great ful for all the circumstances that I have had this summer, but NOT these.
I recently moved into my parents new house which is very much smaller than the one that we used to have. Last Sunday afternoon I declared I was going to weed, with the intentions of getting a shade darker as well. Little did I know that my forehead was going to bear resemblance to Spock, dangit. i have two blots of the hated poison on my forehead, one in the shape of a line and the other a blotch directly below my widow's peak line. Thus, I have yet to completely enjoy my new hair cut and eyebrow wax.
I do have medicine--I discussed poison ivy with my pediatrician before I left for camp, I suggested that perhaps I should get a shot of steriods (I had at one point when I was younger) that would keep the poison away for a couple of months. But instead she gave me this Desonide Cream. It's supposedly stronger than anti-itch cream and we got the big tubes. So I have been slathering it on like crazy. Especially on my forehead. I hope it causes dryness. Soon. There's not more of this that I can take.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Technological Abilities..
I recently got a MacBook and with the purchase, also received a free ipod touch, which is what I am blogging from at the moment. I ran back and forth between from my room and the office of the camp trying to figure out where and what I needed to get wifi and somehow managed to get some laundry done as well. But now I have all that I wanted and now I really need a nap. But yay for wifi. I fully appreciate it now that I can embrace and use it. But now I am well aware that I am slightly behind in the technological world and by getting this laptop and iPod touch I have welcomed myself back to the real world.
Friday, May 29, 2009
Post Graduation Blues
So I am done. The ceremony is over. The diploma is on my dresser and the gown hung up in my closet. The chairs set up in the civic theater for the top ten are put back on their racks and the band has gone home. But I am graduated. And now there is this space of time where I am still surrounded by the people that I care about and love in the town that I hate the most--before I drive my Daewoo down to Camp Luz and live out of a bag for the next two and half months. This extra time is killing me. I have nothing more to do-- I already packed all my things in my room, for we are moving while I am at camp. My hair is already trimmed. (XD) So I'm running out of things to do to prepare myself for not being here. I'm not thinking of this experience as something I'll never do again. Because I know I will be back, I'm not too worried about the goodbyes. Some people are. But I know that I will meet these people again in the future. I have no fear of that. And after this life, I'll see them in heaven. But while I'm still here, I look forward to seeing them sometime in the future-- to see how they have changed and grown and gotten better at some things and worse at others. So it's not really blue. I'm learning that I don't look back but look forward and see the positive future that is ahead of me.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
A Spontaneous Day
On Monday, I had to work at 8, and go to the high school so that I could be in some pictures of the Top Ten. I woke up early, got ready, and walked over to the school with my younger sister. Upon arriving, I found that the photographer, who is currently our athletic director as well, had not arrived yet, and never arrived early for that matter. So I left, went to work and told Mom to call me if they called home and needed me to come in. So I went to work. I helped watch eleven or twelve little kids, and at twelve fifteen, Mom called and told me to come up to the school. So I got permission from my boss to leave for twenty minutes and I drove over to the high school. I got there, the principal called down the top ten--and there were eight. One decided not to show whatsoever, and the other wasn't going to be there until one. So I left, and went back to work. Meanwhile, my boss didn't realize that she'd only booked me to work until one. So when I got back, getting ready to leave, she had to call someone else to come in, and she asked me to stay until my replacement showed up, for she had to go to her son's field trip. I stuck around until one fifteen, and I told Kendall that I had to leave. So I did, and I arrived at the high school just as they were finishing the pictures, and I managed to get into the last few.
I had to drive the the Summitt County Juvenile Court to pay for SAFTE school, because a couple weeks ago, I got a ticket for reading a map while driving home from school. When I got there, I was completely surprised to see a metal detector in front of me and looked like a complete idiot as I was frazzled and realized that I had neither taken off my ring or my belt buckle after going through the metal detector. I felt completely awkward when when the officer did a scan of my ring, my belt buckle, and then the wire from my bra was also in the register. I then remained frozen in my place until the officer told me that I was free to go, then looked around blindly for any sign that would point me in the right direction toward the "traffic window", as stated on the pamplet I received in the mail. A kind lady at the desk by the metal detector asked me what I needed. I answered pathetically, "I just need to pay for SAFTE school." I must have looked like a fish out of the water."It's right over there."I turned around again, and lo and behold, the coveted saftey window was in my sights. Embarrassed, I paid the money for the class. By 7:30 PM on Wednesday, I will be finished with this entire shinanigan. I promise never to read and drive again.
On my home, I decided to stop at a friend's house: I'd let her borrow two of my dresses so that she'd come to Prom (though she didn't end up coming anyhow). So she was there, I got my dresses, and we decided to go get some coffee at Arabica. On the way out of her developement, we decided to pick up another friend. We just showed up at her door and she decided to come. So we drove to Arabica and got some Mocha and Cappiccino Freezes. And we laughed and and a good time. Near the end, Bridget was combing through my hair with her fingers, and she asked me when the last time was that I dyed my hair. (It hadn't been since August--I'm trying to grow out my natural color) and all of a sudden, she decided that we were going to dye my hair.
We drove to Target and she bought the hair dye. It was $3.14. Then Jessica got some as well.
We drove to my house, and I saw my mother and my sister on their way to Marie's voice lesson, so I knew that my mother wouldn't be at home to talk me out with it.
So we dyed my hair. I was rather nervous because it had been awhile since I dyed my hair. And I got slightly peeved when they accidently got the dye on my face, but other than that, thirty minutes later, I had one color of hair. It's a darker soft brown that looks very natural.
After dinner, Mom decided to go to the dog park at the local walking path and I decided to go along. I brought my mp3 player and ran down the hill from the dog park to the path. Then I just decided to keep running. I ran two miles. And then talked around one more time with Mom and Anna before we went home.
It was a good day.
I had to drive the the Summitt County Juvenile Court to pay for SAFTE school, because a couple weeks ago, I got a ticket for reading a map while driving home from school. When I got there, I was completely surprised to see a metal detector in front of me and looked like a complete idiot as I was frazzled and realized that I had neither taken off my ring or my belt buckle after going through the metal detector. I felt completely awkward when when the officer did a scan of my ring, my belt buckle, and then the wire from my bra was also in the register. I then remained frozen in my place until the officer told me that I was free to go, then looked around blindly for any sign that would point me in the right direction toward the "traffic window", as stated on the pamplet I received in the mail. A kind lady at the desk by the metal detector asked me what I needed. I answered pathetically, "I just need to pay for SAFTE school." I must have looked like a fish out of the water."It's right over there."I turned around again, and lo and behold, the coveted saftey window was in my sights. Embarrassed, I paid the money for the class. By 7:30 PM on Wednesday, I will be finished with this entire shinanigan. I promise never to read and drive again.
On my home, I decided to stop at a friend's house: I'd let her borrow two of my dresses so that she'd come to Prom (though she didn't end up coming anyhow). So she was there, I got my dresses, and we decided to go get some coffee at Arabica. On the way out of her developement, we decided to pick up another friend. We just showed up at her door and she decided to come. So we drove to Arabica and got some Mocha and Cappiccino Freezes. And we laughed and and a good time. Near the end, Bridget was combing through my hair with her fingers, and she asked me when the last time was that I dyed my hair. (It hadn't been since August--I'm trying to grow out my natural color) and all of a sudden, she decided that we were going to dye my hair.
We drove to Target and she bought the hair dye. It was $3.14. Then Jessica got some as well.
We drove to my house, and I saw my mother and my sister on their way to Marie's voice lesson, so I knew that my mother wouldn't be at home to talk me out with it.
So we dyed my hair. I was rather nervous because it had been awhile since I dyed my hair. And I got slightly peeved when they accidently got the dye on my face, but other than that, thirty minutes later, I had one color of hair. It's a darker soft brown that looks very natural.
After dinner, Mom decided to go to the dog park at the local walking path and I decided to go along. I brought my mp3 player and ran down the hill from the dog park to the path. Then I just decided to keep running. I ran two miles. And then talked around one more time with Mom and Anna before we went home.
It was a good day.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Graduation.
It's coming. Only two weeks away. I turn eighteen the Saturday before. Then high school, in its entirity will be finished forever. Then I will not feel obligated to come back for anything. The sweet memories will be thrown into the nearest box and packed away and moved to western Ohio, while I go work at camp, and spend the time of my life there once more!
Daddy always said that at some point, I would be recognized for the hard work that I put into the Post Secondary Program. That the two years I spent away from high school, clinging to the last strings of used-to-be-good-friendships, would get me some applause from someone. But I am not a valedictorian. It would be something to say if I had not gotten a B- in Chemistry and a B in Precalculus in the first semester of college, and my junior year in high school. I did not have a million extra tiredless hours to work on scholarship essays and perfect them to masterpieces.
At this point, someone could even put an asterisk by my name, and write in the footnotes that I earned 60 college credits before graduating from high school, and I would be happy. No applause is necessary now. I just want the knowledge of recognition.
I probably will not graduate from college early. My path may end up being two majors, rather than one major and a minor. There will not be a young medical student--a young neurosurgeon to speak of that finished college early. The path I chose to take was the one less taken, so I had to work harder.
It's what I wanted. I wanted the challenge and maturity in learning that Streetsboro High School did not offer. I wanted the credits. To say that I was ahead of the graduating class before me. To be able to say that I was a sophomore in college while still in high school. But everytime I would say it around my fellow classmates, both at Akron and at Streetsboro, I considered myself a boast. Even though I put that hard work into it.
Though I'm not recognized for these accomplishments, I have $1000 I did not have before. Some people have more. They will be able to feel easier about their first semester. Maybe my four years will be shorter. The verdict is in the future. For now, I am content in my humble funds, although each day the money is looming in my face.
Daddy always said that at some point, I would be recognized for the hard work that I put into the Post Secondary Program. That the two years I spent away from high school, clinging to the last strings of used-to-be-good-friendships, would get me some applause from someone. But I am not a valedictorian. It would be something to say if I had not gotten a B- in Chemistry and a B in Precalculus in the first semester of college, and my junior year in high school. I did not have a million extra tiredless hours to work on scholarship essays and perfect them to masterpieces.
At this point, someone could even put an asterisk by my name, and write in the footnotes that I earned 60 college credits before graduating from high school, and I would be happy. No applause is necessary now. I just want the knowledge of recognition.
I probably will not graduate from college early. My path may end up being two majors, rather than one major and a minor. There will not be a young medical student--a young neurosurgeon to speak of that finished college early. The path I chose to take was the one less taken, so I had to work harder.
It's what I wanted. I wanted the challenge and maturity in learning that Streetsboro High School did not offer. I wanted the credits. To say that I was ahead of the graduating class before me. To be able to say that I was a sophomore in college while still in high school. But everytime I would say it around my fellow classmates, both at Akron and at Streetsboro, I considered myself a boast. Even though I put that hard work into it.
Though I'm not recognized for these accomplishments, I have $1000 I did not have before. Some people have more. They will be able to feel easier about their first semester. Maybe my four years will be shorter. The verdict is in the future. For now, I am content in my humble funds, although each day the money is looming in my face.
Friday, May 8, 2009
Combination Chaos
As some of you might have figured out, I am a teenager. But not normal in this--I opted out of two years of high school to go to UA. So this past Tuesday, I took my last exam at UA and I finished high school altogether. Except for walking across the stage, and Prom, of course. Wallowing in this success, I spent Wednesday relaxing, walking five miles, and talking on the phone with Z, until one in the morning.
Yesterday, wasn't so nice. I was well on my way to sleeping in, when the phone rang, and my boss needed someone to come in. This was at 7:15. The last time she had this problem, I decided not do go in, so I felt I should come in this time. I figured maybe I'd just come for the morning, and then I could go home and sleep the afternoon away, while planning more relaxing activities.
Not so. I arrived at seven thirty, and I gave the kids breakfast, changed diapers, put on clothes, made a mothers day craft, unloaded and loaded the dishwasher, washed the dishes that looked to be a couple days old, helped one guy change his clothes after he peed all over himself, unlocked a bathroom door from the outside, drank five cups of caffeinated tea with hopes of waking up a little more, ate almost two cans of green beans with parmaesan cheese and chicken nuggets, made lunch, thought about taking a nap--I stayed until six.
My boss was only there until about two--she went to the hospital to see if she could be given some type of drug that would take away her migraine. She'd already taken so many different things, who knows what could be done.
I went home, but I did not sleep. I went to the high school's band concert. And I put my footprint on the wall. Then I went home. And I still didn't go to sleep until ten thirty. So much for a relaxing day.
Yesterday, wasn't so nice. I was well on my way to sleeping in, when the phone rang, and my boss needed someone to come in. This was at 7:15. The last time she had this problem, I decided not do go in, so I felt I should come in this time. I figured maybe I'd just come for the morning, and then I could go home and sleep the afternoon away, while planning more relaxing activities.
Not so. I arrived at seven thirty, and I gave the kids breakfast, changed diapers, put on clothes, made a mothers day craft, unloaded and loaded the dishwasher, washed the dishes that looked to be a couple days old, helped one guy change his clothes after he peed all over himself, unlocked a bathroom door from the outside, drank five cups of caffeinated tea with hopes of waking up a little more, ate almost two cans of green beans with parmaesan cheese and chicken nuggets, made lunch, thought about taking a nap--I stayed until six.
My boss was only there until about two--she went to the hospital to see if she could be given some type of drug that would take away her migraine. She'd already taken so many different things, who knows what could be done.
I went home, but I did not sleep. I went to the high school's band concert. And I put my footprint on the wall. Then I went home. And I still didn't go to sleep until ten thirty. So much for a relaxing day.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Alphabet of my life.
Artistic. I like to Draw, and I'm expanding my abilities.Bachful.I love Classical Music. Especially Bach's Inventions!Caring. I can't stand it when people are sad. So I try really hard to be someone others can talk to. I'm sick of being the person who ignores or sneers as I walk by.Darn. I don't swear. Except when I almost hit things in the car. I try take the people who swear as they are, and try to look at the person, not the vocabulary.Engle. I am an Engle. When means Angel in German. Which doesn't mean anything considering I'm just as bad as a drug addict. But I love my family.Friends. I don't have a lot of these. Mostly acquaintencces, however, I'm very glad for those that have stuck with me. Even when I'm a loser.Grace. Means a lot to me. it's not just a name. It's a lifestyle. I will never change it. [unmerited favor, unearned benefit, undeserved kindness]Health. I'm highly concerned about my well being. I strive to eat healthy, and exercise so my body is strong.Icebergs. They are so cool! I'm learning about them in my Oceanography class. They are ginormous.Justify. I find that things that toe the line are often jusitfied. I don't like that and i think the world should go back to the basics.K=Potassium. I know my table of elements, but that's as far as I got in the Principles of chemistry class that I took a year ago. And I know that Potassium helps the cramping stop. :)Listen. I love to listen, music, long drawnout descriptions of nearly nothing. Just to hear your voice. Mingle. I enjoy making new friends, and being the person that breaks the awkward silence with awkward questions.Nice. That's a lame word. People should be more extensive with their vocabulary.Optimistic. I'm likely to be a very optimistic person. I enjoy that role. I love to be smiling and make other people laugh and smile, even if it's a stupid thing I do.Patient. This is something I'd like to be more. Sometimes I'm just not good at waiting it out. But I'm content in today. Quirky. I'm sometimes the person who tries to be funny. Or has really dry humor that people don't get all the time. I'm lame like that.Random. I'm definitely really really random. If something you do reminds me of anything, then I will say something about it. even if you lose me halfway through.Sing. I do like to do it, through the cracks and the flats and the flem. I'm good when I have caffeine and citris before i sing, and a lot of water.Tongue. I have a rather long pointy tongue. Gross if you accidently stick your hand on it. So sorry that I tend to have to concentrate with my tongue out of my mouth.Utopia. When I was little, my perfect grown up place would be an island all my own. Swiss-Family-Robinson style.Vaccuum. I hate chores. But Mom makes me do them.Winter. It's only good for the 1st snow.Xylophones. Awesome. I wish I could play like Geoff.Yawn. I'm a morning person. Zeus. A Greek God. Cool name. Cool Statue. Cool subject.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Mountains are Passing
The end is near: UA's semester is coming to a close, and so it SHS, and I will be a graduate and 18 and free to be beautiful.
I have a total of five days, as I know, of classes/exams left, counting today as one of these.
Almost a month until I leave for Camp and I leave Streetsboro forever.
There have been two house showings so far, and we have one tonight, and all have been very promising. I cannot wait until I can make messes again.
My birthday is coming up. It doesn't mean too much for me, but the date is my symbolism of moving on from this place, and this home and these people. There is a goodbye party planned.
I always plan it. I've been having an annual end of the year party since I was in eighth grade.
I'm remembering the different times, the laughter, the different friends that have come and gone, and the changes I have found in me. I'm still finding that I'm fine with the changing.
I drove Marie to her voice lesson yesterday, and listened in, and when it was over, and her voice lesson teacher came out and said, "Who are you?" Marie called from the other room "my sister" and then she said,"Look at that forehead!" and proceeded for the next ten or fifteen minutes to have me sing a couple notes, and then talk about how I could sing with Marie to help her out. And it was fun.
But that's it right now. I don't have other things to say.
I have a total of five days, as I know, of classes/exams left, counting today as one of these.
Almost a month until I leave for Camp and I leave Streetsboro forever.
There have been two house showings so far, and we have one tonight, and all have been very promising. I cannot wait until I can make messes again.
My birthday is coming up. It doesn't mean too much for me, but the date is my symbolism of moving on from this place, and this home and these people. There is a goodbye party planned.
I always plan it. I've been having an annual end of the year party since I was in eighth grade.
I'm remembering the different times, the laughter, the different friends that have come and gone, and the changes I have found in me. I'm still finding that I'm fine with the changing.
I drove Marie to her voice lesson yesterday, and listened in, and when it was over, and her voice lesson teacher came out and said, "Who are you?" Marie called from the other room "my sister" and then she said,"Look at that forehead!" and proceeded for the next ten or fifteen minutes to have me sing a couple notes, and then talk about how I could sing with Marie to help her out. And it was fun.
But that's it right now. I don't have other things to say.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
School
I found out I'm in the top ten at my high school.
Considering that I decided to go to college the past two years that's really good.
Especialty considering that I also got 1.4 Bs.
I'm excited and happy about it.
Unfortunately, as of today me attending Prom is on the line.
The rules are that no homeschooled kids come..
Not that I'm homeschoolled, but Xak is.
As of now I'm not worried, but by tomorrow, when I know the answer, I'll either be or not be.
There are two weeks left of classes at UA.
And That means four class days for me.
But I'm going to last because I have stability.
And optimism. And I'm just that good.
We are putting the house up on the market soon. I think possibly next week.
We are also trading the white car for a green Daewo.
I'm pumped.
Since I'm not tired yet, I'm going to study.
I can't wait until Saturday.
Considering that I decided to go to college the past two years that's really good.
Especialty considering that I also got 1.4 Bs.
I'm excited and happy about it.
Unfortunately, as of today me attending Prom is on the line.
The rules are that no homeschooled kids come..
Not that I'm homeschoolled, but Xak is.
As of now I'm not worried, but by tomorrow, when I know the answer, I'll either be or not be.
There are two weeks left of classes at UA.
And That means four class days for me.
But I'm going to last because I have stability.
And optimism. And I'm just that good.
We are putting the house up on the market soon. I think possibly next week.
We are also trading the white car for a green Daewo.
I'm pumped.
Since I'm not tired yet, I'm going to study.
I can't wait until Saturday.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Debating the Future.
So I've been debating whether to become a nurse or go to medical school and become a surgeon, and now I'm wondering if I'm just going to go to school, and everything else is going to turn out, and God's going to show me something I didn't see before that is even better than what I pick.
Medical School is long. Residencies are long as well. There's a lot of book work. But I LOVE it. I love learning. Maybe I'm just sick of books right now, as I have been reading so much for such unuseful classes (for my major). (The classes are actually helping me learn about myself, for life, but not for what i want to do.)
If I became a nurse, I could be a Psych nurse, or a surgical nurse, or an emergency nurse. Mom mentioned to me the other day that I could also become a nurse practitioner and then have the ability to help patients.
But I was just on http://www.bls.gov/oco/ocos074.htm and I was reading about medical school, and I love the idea of learning about all of these things, and then going to work in a hospital. I can't ever make up my mind! I want to be a surgeon, general, or neuro! Maybe I should start studying now.
I wonder what I'm going to want to be tomorrow.
Medical School is long. Residencies are long as well. There's a lot of book work. But I LOVE it. I love learning. Maybe I'm just sick of books right now, as I have been reading so much for such unuseful classes (for my major). (The classes are actually helping me learn about myself, for life, but not for what i want to do.)
If I became a nurse, I could be a Psych nurse, or a surgical nurse, or an emergency nurse. Mom mentioned to me the other day that I could also become a nurse practitioner and then have the ability to help patients.
But I was just on http://www.bls.gov/oco/ocos074.htm and I was reading about medical school, and I love the idea of learning about all of these things, and then going to work in a hospital. I can't ever make up my mind! I want to be a surgeon, general, or neuro! Maybe I should start studying now.
I wonder what I'm going to want to be tomorrow.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Ode To Dead Flowers
Dead Flowers, how you lay wilted and frozen
The sun has chosen, to hide behind the clouds.
Deceased of the Beauty, only the root, buld remains
Then next spring, you'll return, with vigor and gain.
I have no fear for the future, especially for you,
But now, today, I will miss the colors, the pretty morning prelude
The bright yellows and the reds, or blues of the petals-
Back into the ground, the sound dirt to settle.
That was my interesting attempt at spontaneous poetry.
But I was some daffadils overwhelmed by the snow, and even though they aren't human, they should get some recognition. They come back every year, without fail. That's more consistant than humans.
Some other things I have been processing. I was thinking of majoring in Psychology. I'm one who always wonders about why humans enjoy the things that they do, and so I've been thinking about that idea. I was also thinking of Nursing, because I'm impatient. I want to do the hands on stuff right away--I'm so sick of the bookwork. So I think that might be a good career choice. I'd like to take classes in Music, and Psychology and Nursing.
We'll see. The sun will shine brighter tomorrow. And God will provide. I have no fear. Except that I will be dehydrated. But that is my own fault.
The sun has chosen, to hide behind the clouds.
Deceased of the Beauty, only the root, buld remains
Then next spring, you'll return, with vigor and gain.
I have no fear for the future, especially for you,
But now, today, I will miss the colors, the pretty morning prelude
The bright yellows and the reds, or blues of the petals-
Back into the ground, the sound dirt to settle.
That was my interesting attempt at spontaneous poetry.
But I was some daffadils overwhelmed by the snow, and even though they aren't human, they should get some recognition. They come back every year, without fail. That's more consistant than humans.
Some other things I have been processing. I was thinking of majoring in Psychology. I'm one who always wonders about why humans enjoy the things that they do, and so I've been thinking about that idea. I was also thinking of Nursing, because I'm impatient. I want to do the hands on stuff right away--I'm so sick of the bookwork. So I think that might be a good career choice. I'd like to take classes in Music, and Psychology and Nursing.
We'll see. The sun will shine brighter tomorrow. And God will provide. I have no fear. Except that I will be dehydrated. But that is my own fault.
Friday, April 3, 2009
How you doin'?, All in a Day's Work, and everything else
I was studying in the hallway of a building on campus of UA, and I was lying down on a bench. It was early in the morning, and so there weren't very many people around, so I didn't feel uncomfortable with lying like that. A few people would sauter through the hall, some talking on their phones, some going to the bathroom, some just pushing through to get to their classes. So I was just part of the wall for most. But then someone, who was walking through the hallway, not facing me, said, "How you doin'?" I had no idea he was addressing me, until he walked into my view, and I looked up, and saw he was looking at me intently as he walked away. And I realized that I'd just been hit upon. Hooray. . . I didn't know my butt was THAT nice, but thanks for informing me.
I work at a home-based daycare, and deal with very interesting situations, to say the least. This week, I took a dead hamster and put it in a shoebox for my boss, so that she could take it to the petstore and get a new one. I dealt with three different ideas of how to deal with the kids--my boss's, and two other ladies that I work with. I changed more than my share of poopy diapers. Today we put down one of the two year old girls for a nap, and she didn't quit screaming for half an hour, and we had to tell her sternly that she was waking up everyone else several times. Lunch was fish sticks and green beans. But I had a Fiber bar, a Nutrigrain bar, and an orange. Good deal. The four-month old that we watch didn't take a nap this morning. We couldn't figure out why, and I just entertained him for a good while. Then when I left to take my boss's son to preschool, (which his finger got squashed in the door handle on the the way out of the car, and was crying when he went into preschool) the other lady that was working with me changed his diaper, and said that he had a REALLY bad poop--that it was in his onesy and got all over him when she took it off of him. I was glad that I missed it. I'm not too amazing with poop. Earlier in the week, she had me hose down a picnic table for the kids to sit at outside. I unloaded the dishwasher this morning. And when we were all in the playroom, I was sitting in the rocking chair, and one after another, soon I had four little girls sitting on my lap, and curious as to why I was reading a Nuevo Testamento. (I'm working my Spanish, and my bible time together.)
It rained gross today. I'm really jealous of those who get to enjoy the amazing weather of Honduras, while I get to stay in Ohio, and write papers, study for exams, and change diapers. But I am content. My time will come. But today, my dad and I went running, regardless of the rain, and we did two miles, probably the fastest we've done it together. We aren't fast runners, and we tend to want to quit early indiviually, but when we run together, we accomplish and extend to distances, and slightly, speeds which we couldn't do by ourselves. Thus why it is going to be difficult for me to run next week, because my dad will be in SD, doing some pastoral work at his former high school, and some churches in the area. I'm actually driving him to the airport tomorrow morning, at 5:00 in the morning.
I work at a home-based daycare, and deal with very interesting situations, to say the least. This week, I took a dead hamster and put it in a shoebox for my boss, so that she could take it to the petstore and get a new one. I dealt with three different ideas of how to deal with the kids--my boss's, and two other ladies that I work with. I changed more than my share of poopy diapers. Today we put down one of the two year old girls for a nap, and she didn't quit screaming for half an hour, and we had to tell her sternly that she was waking up everyone else several times. Lunch was fish sticks and green beans. But I had a Fiber bar, a Nutrigrain bar, and an orange. Good deal. The four-month old that we watch didn't take a nap this morning. We couldn't figure out why, and I just entertained him for a good while. Then when I left to take my boss's son to preschool, (which his finger got squashed in the door handle on the the way out of the car, and was crying when he went into preschool) the other lady that was working with me changed his diaper, and said that he had a REALLY bad poop--that it was in his onesy and got all over him when she took it off of him. I was glad that I missed it. I'm not too amazing with poop. Earlier in the week, she had me hose down a picnic table for the kids to sit at outside. I unloaded the dishwasher this morning. And when we were all in the playroom, I was sitting in the rocking chair, and one after another, soon I had four little girls sitting on my lap, and curious as to why I was reading a Nuevo Testamento. (I'm working my Spanish, and my bible time together.)
It rained gross today. I'm really jealous of those who get to enjoy the amazing weather of Honduras, while I get to stay in Ohio, and write papers, study for exams, and change diapers. But I am content. My time will come. But today, my dad and I went running, regardless of the rain, and we did two miles, probably the fastest we've done it together. We aren't fast runners, and we tend to want to quit early indiviually, but when we run together, we accomplish and extend to distances, and slightly, speeds which we couldn't do by ourselves. Thus why it is going to be difficult for me to run next week, because my dad will be in SD, doing some pastoral work at his former high school, and some churches in the area. I'm actually driving him to the airport tomorrow morning, at 5:00 in the morning.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
All Things Grace
Yesterday we, Muffin and I, saw the opera. I'm not even joking. Hardcore, four hours long, The Marriage of Figaro, by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart! It was amazing. I also got to take a peek into high society of Cleveland, Ohio. There's a majority of old people dressed up. There was a lot of alcohol consumed. There was an intense line for the bathroom during intermission.
I got a Muse "Blackholes and Revelations" CD yesterday, also. I love it. It was the last copy at Target, so it was a great feeling to know that it was there. I'm loving it. In addition to the opera. It's really not that different. Just a little more electronic.
I watched the movie, The Sentinel today. I love watching Kieffer Sutterland, even though I'm not very enduring for the 24 season... It was good.
I washed walls in the basement, and spacklinged the holes in the walls. Spackling is the anitholy water. It makes things unholey. I was kept entertained that entire time with an excitement filled conversation with the bf, Xac. He's headed to Honduras, for a couple weeks, I'm excited for him. I wish I could go out of the country. I'd like to feel culture shock. It's been so long since I have, because of living in the same place for so long, with the same mediocre people with their lukewarm attitudes.
I just want to be a musician star. And step out of this stupid world that I'm forced to be surrounded by. Thank goodness my family is moving away from this stinking town.
There are some good people, but I always feel the same vibe--that everyone here criticizes the place that we live, and they want to live somewhere else, but this is where they are, but they don't love it. I love rural areas, in comparison to this place.
We have two extra dogs in our house at the moment, and they are driving all of our family crazy. They make Rocket go off a rocket and being a crazy thing. And they all bark up a storm, and whine like crazy things, and the cats get freaked out.
Muffin is doing her voice practice right now, and it is also crazy annoying, but I can't do anything about it, because i love her voice the way it is. And i want her to get way better, so that she can become an amazing opera singer, like the girls at "The Marriage of Figaro."
I haven't talked to Anise in awhile. I wonder how she's holding up. She's only got like three weeks of college left before she comes home and get to be with me all the time. Yay! Then she's going to work at SWAP during the summer, in West Virginia.
Mom and Dad and me and Muffin have been working on getting the house ready to be put on the market. Mom and Dad were washing the outside of the house yesterday, this morning, and this afternoon. We have to repaint the outside, and add some nice touches, like a new shutter color. We're also going to have a painting party next Saturday to paint some parts of the house. Maybe not the outside (it's too soon to tell if that will be ready) But there are several rooms in the house that have been spackinged by me, and thus we have to paint the rooms now.
My collage wall disinigrated awhile ago, and I had a collage corner and my French doors were collaged for awhile, but now that the house is going to be going on the market, we have to take down all the pictures of family members/people on the walls, so my room is going to look really lame. It's all part of me that I have to take down.
I have been working on a new song recently. It's called "Introductions." I figure if and when I finally record an entire CD, that this song could be the first one.
Here's a clip of some of the lyrics:
My name is Grace
I'm nowhere close to becoming famous
I have a face, and a heart too
And feelings hurt almost everyday
Can't you see I'm a person too?
But I don't want to become insensitive.
Will you let me sing for you?
Because
My words,
My emotions
Break holes in the windows of hearts
Of people
Poor people
Who hide from reality
Please let them see me.
So Mom was in the mood for some "cheap" reading, meaning magazines (haha). So she read and is reading my Seventeen magazine. But later, she came into my room with a very serious face.
She came to aske me to unload the dishwasher.
I asked her why she looked like someone died.
And then she said that later we could talk about sex.
I told her I don't like to talk about sex.
And we've had that conversation before anyway.
I feel I've been adequately versed in the matter.
And I also feel very firm in my beliefs in what I won't do.
And very luckily for me I'm dating a guy that isn't going to ignore the subject of boundaries. Hooray for non jerk boys. (FINALLY)
The dogs are in the basement, the sister is almost done with the voice stuff, the mom is still reading the Seventeen magazine. I'm still escaping into the world of music. and diet generic cola pop. Daddy is doing laundry.
Peace out.
I got a Muse "Blackholes and Revelations" CD yesterday, also. I love it. It was the last copy at Target, so it was a great feeling to know that it was there. I'm loving it. In addition to the opera. It's really not that different. Just a little more electronic.
I watched the movie, The Sentinel today. I love watching Kieffer Sutterland, even though I'm not very enduring for the 24 season... It was good.
I washed walls in the basement, and spacklinged the holes in the walls. Spackling is the anitholy water. It makes things unholey. I was kept entertained that entire time with an excitement filled conversation with the bf, Xac. He's headed to Honduras, for a couple weeks, I'm excited for him. I wish I could go out of the country. I'd like to feel culture shock. It's been so long since I have, because of living in the same place for so long, with the same mediocre people with their lukewarm attitudes.
I just want to be a musician star. And step out of this stupid world that I'm forced to be surrounded by. Thank goodness my family is moving away from this stinking town.
There are some good people, but I always feel the same vibe--that everyone here criticizes the place that we live, and they want to live somewhere else, but this is where they are, but they don't love it. I love rural areas, in comparison to this place.
We have two extra dogs in our house at the moment, and they are driving all of our family crazy. They make Rocket go off a rocket and being a crazy thing. And they all bark up a storm, and whine like crazy things, and the cats get freaked out.
Muffin is doing her voice practice right now, and it is also crazy annoying, but I can't do anything about it, because i love her voice the way it is. And i want her to get way better, so that she can become an amazing opera singer, like the girls at "The Marriage of Figaro."
I haven't talked to Anise in awhile. I wonder how she's holding up. She's only got like three weeks of college left before she comes home and get to be with me all the time. Yay! Then she's going to work at SWAP during the summer, in West Virginia.
Mom and Dad and me and Muffin have been working on getting the house ready to be put on the market. Mom and Dad were washing the outside of the house yesterday, this morning, and this afternoon. We have to repaint the outside, and add some nice touches, like a new shutter color. We're also going to have a painting party next Saturday to paint some parts of the house. Maybe not the outside (it's too soon to tell if that will be ready) But there are several rooms in the house that have been spackinged by me, and thus we have to paint the rooms now.
My collage wall disinigrated awhile ago, and I had a collage corner and my French doors were collaged for awhile, but now that the house is going to be going on the market, we have to take down all the pictures of family members/people on the walls, so my room is going to look really lame. It's all part of me that I have to take down.
I have been working on a new song recently. It's called "Introductions." I figure if and when I finally record an entire CD, that this song could be the first one.
Here's a clip of some of the lyrics:
My name is Grace
I'm nowhere close to becoming famous
I have a face, and a heart too
And feelings hurt almost everyday
Can't you see I'm a person too?
But I don't want to become insensitive.
Will you let me sing for you?
Because
My words,
My emotions
Break holes in the windows of hearts
Of people
Poor people
Who hide from reality
Please let them see me.
So Mom was in the mood for some "cheap" reading, meaning magazines (haha). So she read and is reading my Seventeen magazine. But later, she came into my room with a very serious face.
She came to aske me to unload the dishwasher.
I asked her why she looked like someone died.
And then she said that later we could talk about sex.
I told her I don't like to talk about sex.
And we've had that conversation before anyway.
I feel I've been adequately versed in the matter.
And I also feel very firm in my beliefs in what I won't do.
And very luckily for me I'm dating a guy that isn't going to ignore the subject of boundaries. Hooray for non jerk boys. (FINALLY)
The dogs are in the basement, the sister is almost done with the voice stuff, the mom is still reading the Seventeen magazine. I'm still escaping into the world of music. and diet generic cola pop. Daddy is doing laundry.
Peace out.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
How do I choose?
So I've basically been debating what I should major in all day. At EMU, my designated major, as I have told them, is Biology, with a goal of medical school, and eventually becoming a surgeon. But there's so much, so many other things that I can do, and would enjoy doing. I want to explore them, with a chance to change my mind, and know what I want to do. But some things I guess I'll never know until the day comes. I love music. I love writing songs, and coming up with weird chord patterns, or finding awesome melodies to go with the classic ones. I love to write.. In my journal at least, and although I don't think that I could stand having a career in Writing because of how much I dread writing papers for school, I still think that I could enjoy it, even if just for a memoir somewhere down the road. I love to knit, though that in itself is not enough to occupy my mind. I'm always knitting when I am also doing something else-driving somewhere, or talking on the phone. I love taking pictures. Not a lot, but sometimes, and it always helps to have an amazing sunrise in the morning. I like to study the Bible. It fascinates me and I just want to understand all of it all the way. I have no idea what kind of career would become of that. Sometimes when I daydream about having a CD and I think of themed types. One idea was to have an entire CD of songs that were inspired by the feelings of Biblical women. I kind of started on that one, but I didn't get far. I wrote three songs. I love music. Maybe that should be my career. But for a very long time, I've wanted to have the advantage of being finacially stable, and because of my interest in biology, and according to everyone, my smarts, I've always considered medicine to be my career path. But then again, maybe I should just be a surgeon until all my loans are paid off and then do what I love to do. But what's that?
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Welcoming Silence
Music is my life. It describes me. It completes me. It gives me peace, helps me work through what's on my mind, and figure what I want. Music is a term or something that describes me, and balances the chaos and the silence that envelope the rest of my time. There is always a "musik" in someone's life. It's the thing that keeps one from going crazy when there's twenty poopy diapers, or that annoying co-worker just doesn't know when to quit. Your "music" is the headache reducer, stress-relieveing, relaxing activities that you take on to escape the reality that's not so bright all the time. So take this into consideration as you read. Take it in. Take advice. Take your music, and let it free you.
While being a musician, it's sometimes completely necessary to invoke the right of silence. There's always a need for alone time, especially when life beyond the world of music is jam-packed with questions and demanding things. I thrive off of the days when the chaos stops, even just for a moment. It lets me hear the true voice within me, and the real questions that I have to ask. It's in the moments of silence that I find out what I'm truly worried about, what's been on my mind, and how I need to make balance occur in my day. It's the balance of chaos, music, and silence that lets one's true self escape the bonds of the mind. So here's my recommendation to you. Think of a way that you can break away from your chaos, find your music, and feel the silence. Let the nature, the world around you fill you with peace of mind. Seek God in your own way. Learn to listen, not just to the outside, but to the inside. Find balance in what you do to figure your worries.
As for me, worries are just for the future. Who? what, when, where. How? Why? Can I possibly be able to do what I need and want to do and that be the same thing? Can I know that my heart, my mind and my soul are not going to agree, yet still feel okay with that? Is there a way that I can escape the loans that will follow me into college? Can I have any idea who or what is going to be there for me through moving, going to college, and then whatever's next?
This is why I have faith.
"So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." (2Corinthians4:18) What we see, we take for granted. "Look there's a tree. I can keep breathing because it's there." What we don't see, we don't understand. "Why is that tree there? Why does it take my waste and produce something to keep me from stopping breathing? Why do I breathe? What's my life plan?" We spend eternity contemplating the unseen. People have philosophized about the unseen since the beginning of time, and will continue doing so until the end of time. So I know that human life is temporary, but God is eternal.
While being a musician, it's sometimes completely necessary to invoke the right of silence. There's always a need for alone time, especially when life beyond the world of music is jam-packed with questions and demanding things. I thrive off of the days when the chaos stops, even just for a moment. It lets me hear the true voice within me, and the real questions that I have to ask. It's in the moments of silence that I find out what I'm truly worried about, what's been on my mind, and how I need to make balance occur in my day. It's the balance of chaos, music, and silence that lets one's true self escape the bonds of the mind. So here's my recommendation to you. Think of a way that you can break away from your chaos, find your music, and feel the silence. Let the nature, the world around you fill you with peace of mind. Seek God in your own way. Learn to listen, not just to the outside, but to the inside. Find balance in what you do to figure your worries.
As for me, worries are just for the future. Who? what, when, where. How? Why? Can I possibly be able to do what I need and want to do and that be the same thing? Can I know that my heart, my mind and my soul are not going to agree, yet still feel okay with that? Is there a way that I can escape the loans that will follow me into college? Can I have any idea who or what is going to be there for me through moving, going to college, and then whatever's next?
This is why I have faith.
"So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." (2Corinthians4:18) What we see, we take for granted. "Look there's a tree. I can keep breathing because it's there." What we don't see, we don't understand. "Why is that tree there? Why does it take my waste and produce something to keep me from stopping breathing? Why do I breathe? What's my life plan?" We spend eternity contemplating the unseen. People have philosophized about the unseen since the beginning of time, and will continue doing so until the end of time. So I know that human life is temporary, but God is eternal.
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